I think I have come to the realization that blogging is just not my thing, I always have the best intentions, I have several drafts ready to go, but I never actually post anything. I should honestly be blogging more for my business but I also don’t really do that either because well, I am not disciplined enough. But since I have been on here answering comments on the Riot Fest review post, I might as well jot down some thoughts.
I am in my last year of the 20’s and I am not sure about other people my age but I am still waiting for that grown up feeling to kick in. I feel like I should hate saying that I am almost 30 but I guess I don’t really care. A big part of me thinks that when you hit 30, you are a bona fide adult and I still forget that I am probably an adult already, but I don’t know what that even means. When my parents where my age they had a house, kids, and they already had their forever jobs. I, on the other hand, have a house that I want to sell and move from, am not sure on the kid thing and work as freelancer that I actually love but is super unpredictable. I feel like I don’t fit the mold and I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up.
My list is long when it comes to professions I wanted to be when I was young. I wanted to be a ballerina, saxophonist, lawyer, drummer, occupational therapist, work with kids (vague, I know), designer at a record label, and I am sure I am forgetting some stuff but I was definitely a dreamer. I always thought I wanted to work with music of some sort, but I never wanted to be famous and I really do not have any musical talent what so ever. I took years of piano so I could take up percussion and play the drums, but I found out that I have absolutely no rhythm (and I sucked at practicing). I definitely can’t sing, I can’t dance, I basically can only listen to music and nod my head in an offbeat manner. Basically, working work music was a dream that wasn’t going to work out.
Jobs I actually had growing up varied a lot as well. My first job was housekeeping at a hotel when I was 14 and that was just the start. I also was a sandwich artist, cashier at Best Buy, babysitter, worked at a coffee shop, accounts receivable assistant, worked at a bank call center for a month, layout production at a photography lab, and then a web designer. Truth, none of my jobs have ever lined up with what I thought I wanted to be when I was younger.
I can say I never thought I wanted to be a self employed web person, but I love it for the most part. I don’t know how long I will be doing this before I move onto the next dream or if this is my forever path.
Maybe that is what adulthood is for some people. Pretending that you know what you want to do but in reality, you are so unsure of what the next step should be. Having this feeling that you want something different but you don’t exactly know what you want to do so you just put around until you figure it all out. I am sure I am not the only one with this feeling, the world is far too big for me to be the only one.